helpful hints + tips + tricks
GENERAL TIPS
+ Do what you want and trust your gut. This is YOUR DAY. Do what makes YOU happy. This isn’t your family’s wedding (though I love that many of my couples choose to do weddings to celebrate their love with their loved ones along with some family traditions). You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. Repeat that. Internalize that.
+ No, your friends who have already been married don’t have everything wedding-related figured out (no offense to them, and I’m sure they’re brilliant and lovely). Nor do biased articles on the internet, nor does even Pinterest. I don’t think anyone does. You don’t have to do something just because your bestie thinks it’s a cute idea or Pinterest says you should. But if you think it’s a cute idea, then go for it.
+ I know it’s vulnerable, but handwritten or personal vows are highly recommended and mean so much, compared to googling something generic. Even if you do a private vow reading before the ceremony and then do more “standard” ones in front of everyone, I love when couples write their vows from the heart. Obviously–you do you. My favorite moments of weddings days are typically the vow readings and the images from those moments are usually the most emotional and highly cherished. With that said, any and every opportunity you can take to make things *that* much more personal to you, I think, is 100% the way to go. Wanna order pizzas to the dance floor? Be my guest.
+ Soak it up. Be present. The day will come, and it will go. The planning will come, and it will go. Try and be as mindful as possible in every moment and give thanks that this coming together and is happening for you. A lot of people will likely want to help make your day incredible. Allow them, but know your boundaries.
+ Remember who you are and allow yourself joy. I have both these statements tattooed on my body, but I think they’re great reminders when planning important life moments. Remember who you are. What sparks joy? What doesn’t? Leave everything that isn’t a part of you or that doesn’t bring you joy behind for the time being. Allow yourself joy. This is your day and your joy. Soak it up.
+ If you’re planning on honeymooning soon after your wedding, I highly recommend leaving (at least) one day between your wedding and your travel day to rest, recoup, pack, and enjoy one day of being at home before you take off on your adventure. It is not fun to be up until 2:00am (or later) and then catch a flight at 6:30am. Also…low key throwing out that if you’re interested in having some dope photos taken on your honeymoon or you want to do an amazing day-after session in a new landscape, I know a photographer who would be thrilled to help two. (it is me.)
MISCELLANEOUS:
+ Keep track of who sends/gifts you what. Make a google doc if you want. Consider buying some bulk Thank You Cards with your to-be/newly married details (if they’re changing), so you can get started on writing as soon as gifts start making their way to you.
+ If you aren’t able to hire a planner, please don’t be afraid to ask your vendors about what you should expect in their POV. They’ve likely done dozens and dozens of weddings and likely have some good insight. When it comes down to it: Planners and Month of/Day-of Coordinators are some of the hardest working people on the planet and the ones who do their jobs well are priceless. If you have the budget to hire (at least a day-of) coordinator, I would highly recommend doing so. Their job is to make sure the day flows, stays on track, gets put together, and they make sure you two stay stress-free (and that’s like, the tip of the iceberg). I can 100% tell a difference in days with coordinators and/or planners and days without.
+ Consider making a “wedding day emergency kit” with: a small sewing kit, scissors, safety pins, bobby pins, deodorant, dental hygiene items, hair spray, dry shampoo, menstruation products, extra undies, any allergy, headache, or regular meds you may need, a comb, bug spray, sunscreen, and your favorite snacks.
+ Extra things that sometimes people don’t think about needing at wedding days: pens for guestbooks, extra plates/napkins/silverware on standby for vendors or people wanting seconds (or for people without an assigned seat), extra lighters for candles or sparklers, plates/forks near the cake table, a cake cutter/servers (most caterers and several venues take care of this, I believe), phone chargers, any other chargers, music you like and a way to listen to it, and comfy shoes in case you want to change for the dance floor.
+ Signing the marriage license: Yes, you must actually sign it, and it must be legible. And it must be with your to-be-known-as name (aka the name you’ll have once you’re married). In Oklahoma, you’ll need 2 witnesses (18 or older), and your officiant to sign it. Have a dedicated, reliable person return it to the court house (or wherever you need to return it) and get a few copies for your records (you’ll need copies to change names and everything that goes with that).
photo tips
+ If you don’t know what to do with your hands, wrap them around your partner’s arm/waist/shoulders or run your fingers across their neck/jawline, play with your hair or outfit, sway/dance/tickle each other/give back scratches/rubs, or simply move your arms and elbows and legs around to create angles. I’ll also direct you when needed, but in the spur of the moment, feel free to do one of the tips listed above. Also–if you don’t know what to do, kissing is a quick and easy go-to, but feel free to plant kisses not just on the lips, but cheeks, temples, foreheads, noses, shoulders, neck, arms, legs, butt, honestly wherever tickles your fancy.
+ Please know that you don’t have to look at me when the camera is on you (unless I have a specific vision or unless you want to). You don’t have to smile all the time either. Just focus on each other, smile at each other occasionally, flirt with your eyes, make goofy faces sometimes, try your model faces, etc. Feel free to look at your partner or your other loved ones in the room—or simply find something pretty to look out off in the distance. Also–a tip–practice your face angles in the mirror and figure out what feels best for your face. If you like a softer smile on you or you look extra spicy with your head angled slightly, throw in some of those different angles. Honestly, if you take selfies, just pretend I’m your arm/phone and you’re modeling for your phonescreen/your honey/the internet if that’s your thing.
+ I always love real laughter as opposed to forced smiles. If you want to start real laughter, and you know how to make your partner laugh on the spot, I welcome that. If you feel stuck, I always like throwing out a hearty and weird “Ha Ha Ha” in a bizarre voice to get actual laughter going. It feels a little strange, but usually works.
+ When I give you prompts or directions, please trust me. Sometimes they’re old standbys and sometimes they come off the top of my head or are completely new. Sometimes they may be for fun or may not work out how I envisioned. That’s okay. We’re just having fun and making art. The directions I give may feel funny or strange to do, but I’m often seeking the little moments of you all reacting to what I just made you do/say instead of the act/word itself, if that makes sense.
+ Always think about adding movement, if you’d like. Arm caresses, back caresses, booty grabs, hair whipping or brushing from the face, swaying, skipping, running, jumping, dancing, anything that can add movement to your photos is always welcome. Even if you want to pretend you’re happy-drunk the entire time and stumble around/hold onto each other for support, any movement is fun and good.
+ Remember that I’m not going to let you see any unflattering photos of yourself (unless they are, honestly, too hilarious or too sweet (like ugly crying–sorry–I will likely keep those in the gallery) to leave out, and I know you have senses of humor that can handle it), so don’t worry about if you’re blinking during frames or have a “weird” face or anything like that–I’ll make sure your gallery is full of photos that are chock full of you two looking like a billion bucks, and you can just be yourself. If you two are talking together, as a side note, try and have pseudo-smiles on your faces. Smiling talking always looks a bit better in photos than straight-faced talking.
+ Sometimes, I like to get out of my routine of what I know will work and try new things. Or even just take a moment to slow down and focus a bit more. If I take a few seconds to collect my thoughts during our session or shooting time, please feel free to do the same or shake it out or yell or whatever it is you need to do to clear your head and continue on. Sometimes things just take a little time, ya know? I welcome and encourage moments of thought in the span of creation. Otherwise there seems to be something missing if we robotize things down to mechanics. Also, always feel free to let me know how you’re feeling or if you have any thoughts/ideas/visions/anything. These are your photos, and any input you may have is more than welcome!
engagement season
+ The end goal here is not the wedding. I know that may be a little slap in the face. But remember…the end goal is to continue to build a solid foundation for your marriage, and then have a kickass marriage. I would be a liar if I said marriage would probably be super-easy. But I know that there is so much goodness to come. Make sure you’re carving out time for you two to really connect during this time, beyond cake flavors and napkin colors. Have date nights while planning, ask deep questions to get to know each other on an even intimate level, and remember to have fun too. Wedding planning can be stressful, but it doesn’t have to be. It can also be a great time to draw closer, connect, and really think about not only your wedding day and what you want it to look and feel like, but your life together and what you want it to look and feel like. Use this time to dive deep and envision what your life looks like. I believe that if you put your mind and heart into something, you can find a way to achieve it. What does your life beyond the wedding look and feel like? How could your wedding best serve to be a starting point to lead you in that direction?
+ If you’re still on the hunt for the best vendors, I’ve compiled a list of my faves in Oklahoma who always do show-stopping, wonderful work. You can find that list here.
+ I am a big believer in making your wedding day ALL about you two and your love and story. While Pinterest is great, I’d love to know and understand your vision and see where we can drive it even further to make a statement about who you two are. I’ve had a past of planning, styling, and coordinating weddings as well and would love to discuss what ideas you could bring to your planner or your wedding-vision table–to not only make your day even more memorable, but also more meaningful–with thoughtful details or new traditions that wow. I’m an expert at seeing the bigger picture and am skilled in making sure the love is in the details. I offer a complimentary 30 minute brainstorm session to all my clients to talk about details beyond imagery, if you want.
For more detailed and ongoing artistic direction, sourcing, and continued ideas and inspiration, you can add on my Custom Styling Add-On, which will be sure to bring unique, beautiful, and perfectly crafted details and ideas for you and your day. This option is best suited for people who have an idea/vision, but not a ton of planning done yet (or who are flexible with their initial vision). I’ve worked with loads of different couples and styles and am particularly skilled at making things look and feel amazing with modest budgets (assuming other vendors are on board).
+ Pamper yourself and let yourself rest. Sincerely. Rest can be productive. Even if it’s a 30 minute candles-lit bubble bath with a glass of wine or iced tea, remember to take care of yourself first. Remember who you are and what matters to you, and I fully believe everything else will turn out no matter what. Show up for yourself. Show up for your love. At the end of the day, you’ll be just as married whether everything goes 100% perfectly or if your DJ calls you by the complete wrong name during your grand entrance (Yes, I have seen that happen.).
+ Rest in knowing that you have a photographer (and, need I remind you, a new friend) who cares about you and your feelings and whether or not you’re having a shitty day. If you ever want to cry or rant it out because you had A DAY at work or someone is squashing your spirit, holler at me, and I’d love to be a judgement-free listening ear. Even if we haven’t really talked before outside of getting you booked or a question answered. Sometimes we just need to get something out of our heads before we can feel better about it. I’m here for you, wedding-related or not. Sincerely.
+ Ask questions of yourself when planning. One I like to keep at the forefront of my mind while offering advice to couples is “does it move you?” Does the decision you’re making move you in some way? Yes/no? Do you want it to? Yes/no? Do you want it to move your guests? Yes/no? Make decisions that move you in some way—even if that movement is as simple as your gut saying “Yes, I like this idea very much. Let’s do it.”
+ No matter how short or long your engagement season is, chances are, it’ll fly by before you know it. Start with a plan (I’ve come up with a general engagement/planning timeline at the end of this guide, if you need help), try and stick with it (it’s okay if you fall off track though!), and enjoy this time.
ENGAGMENT PHOTO TIPS
+ Be yourselves. I’m gonna repeat that over and over again. Cater your session to you and your interests. Be weird or goofy or flirty or whomever feels most like you. I’ve seen it all. Whoever you are, I want to see them. If you need to bring a drink or some pot to calm the nerves (assuming you’re using it legally), please feel free. Anything to help you ease into it (carefully and safely please!), and I’m here for it.
+ Add in your favorite things. Dogs? Pizza? Tacos? Walks around the neighborhood? Game nights at home? Exploring your city? Going to the lake? Flowers? Cookies? Fashion? Art? Music? A game of basketball? Whatever you love, let me know, and we can run wild with ideas.
+ Consider the *vibe*. What type of vibe do you want to give off in your photos? Romantic and dreamy? Punchy and eclectic? Modern and sophisticated? Editorial and edgy? Chill and relaxed? Cool and comfy? Let’s pick a few adjectives to play around with, and this will help determine what to wear, how I direct/pose, where our locations will be, etc.
+ Location, location, location. I can make you look good in a public bathroom if needed. But your location can be super-special if you want. Your first date night? Wanna recreate that? Or a jazz club or your Saturday morning Farmers Market. A flowering field so you can frolic and be free? Perhaps you want something minimal and colorful or funky and whimsical? Location determines a large amount of the overall feelings of your photos, and ultimately, how the shoot will go (if you aren’t comfortable with PDAing in front of a crowd of people, we may consider not photographing in Bricktown after a Thunder game, as an example, as your end photos may show some nerves).
+ Just with location, outfits and wardrobe can spice up engagement photos or they can damper the overall mood. Consider what you’d wear to the locations you’re going and jazz it up a little bit. For something nature-y or outdoors, stick with colors that you’ll be surrounded by (earth tones and desert tones always photograph beautifully), and clothes and accessories with movement (flowy dresses, jackets that can be taken on/off, etc).
For something more modern, a color block of tones or black and white would be good choices, as would more “funky” statement pieces like cool shoes/sunglasses/hats/etc. I’ve had one couple really want to show-off their wardrobes, so we ran around downtown OKC and they switched clothes out 7 times. The couple was mindful of colors, tones, and what their surroundings would be, and chose outfits based on those things. The photo shoot was picked up on Junebug weddings and is Pinned all over the place as engagement outfit inspo. (I am 100% always, always here to help!)
+ Go with the flow. Sometimes things happen. Sometimes things don’t work out. Sometimes rain pours. It’s okay. We’ll make great images together one way or another.
Also, just a head’s up: it’s a good idea to potentially be comfortable with changing clothes in a car or in a public restroom, as outfit changes during engagement photos typically happen on the fly and wherever is closest.
+ Get out of your own head. At least for a few moments. Be a kid. Be free for a hour or two. Enjoy and laugh and kiss each other and try and forget about what your body/face look like. Remember that I am here to help you have a good time. Embrace who you are, be as present as you possibly can, and interact with your love like no one is around. I’ll make sure you look and feel great so you can let loose.
Wardrobe Do's and Don'ts
(Ultimately, you do you. I’m not trying to dictate what you can and cannot wear…just shedding a little light and letting you know my two cents.)
NAYS:
+ No logos or wordy/overly graphic clothes, unless there’s, like, an actual purpose (like your family is Disney obsessed or you’re an heir of Nike or you’re making a fun statement for one photo).
+ No ball caps (unless, again, there’s a purpose or it’s an outfit-maker), but other hats are welcome (as long as you’ll be cool with me asking you to take it off/on).
+ No super-bold patterns or neon colors (small patterns work well, and textures are always welcome), unless it goes along with the overall vibe/color scheme (sometimes, stylistically, we may shoot for something like this).
+ No hairbands, fitbits, or Apple watches on the wrists, please (unless, it’s like, a part of who you are, in your core).
+ Please, no flip-flops unless we are at the pool or the beach or you’re about to get your toenails painted.
+ No polos with khakis (sorry, it looks like you just left the office), or really polo shirts in general, because then it just looks like you stopped by your engagement session on the way to the golf course.
+ Please don’t match. Coordination is good. Matching takes us straight into the realm of Awkward Family Photos preeeettty quickly, unfortunately.
+ For glasses-wearing humans: If you have lenses that are not transitional, those are preferred. Also, just as a heads up, I may have to adjust your chin/face ever so slightly sometimes just to avoid glares of lights in your lenses. Contacts are welcome, but I also know how cute people look in glasses too.
YAYS:
+ Accessories–and I’m not just talking about that new ring. Feel free to bring your favorite jacket, blazer, scarf, hat, watch, pair of sunnies or boots or heels or whatever. Layers are good. Options are good. But also minimalism rules too. Whoever you are, be them.
+ Natural hair and makeup: It’s totally good and okay to pamper yourself with nice hair and makeup for your engagement photos. I encourage it! But keep your look fairly natural to what you might normally wear on date night or something. Make sure you’ll feel like yourself.
+ Wear something you feel like a badass in. Wear an outfit that makes you feel like you can conquer the world (most couples have 2-3 outfits, so feel free to bring a few choices).
Show off your sense of style. Enough said. (Oh, but please make sure you’re still comfy in whatever you’re wearing.)
+ If you need outfit help, feel free to text me pictures of your thoughts or take a scroll through this Pinterest board I’ve compiled with ideas for engagement and lifestyle photos.
timelines
I offer full timeline creation and customization. With 200+ weddings under my belt, I’ve seen just about everything that can make a wedding day run on schedule or run waaaay behind. I consider myself an efficient shooter and like to make my timelines so you’re not spending every free moment at your wedding with me AND you have plenty of time between photo “sets” to relax, grab a drink or a smoke or some nice water, or freshen up.
I love you, I really do, but I don’t really want to hang out with you more than we have to on your wedding day. I’d rather hang out another time. I hope you understand. You two be with all your guests, and I’ll be the freakishly observant phly on the wall. If you want to hang out with me once we are all in reception-mode, I’d be happy to join you for a glass of champagne or your fave song on the dance floor. ;) Otherwise, you can basically forget I exist. I’ve been ghosted by an English award-winning play director who was so witty I was sure I fell in love immediately just by words alone. I can handle you not noticing me.
Many couples like coverage to include some getting ready photos through the end of the reception. I highly recommend 7 hours at the least (unless you’re having an elopement or a short reception) to cover all of this. I can create a timeline down to the minute if you’re interested.
Other tips regarding the flow of the day:
+ If you have family members or wedding party members who will be photographed during a scheduled time slot, please have them to the venue/location, dressed and ready to rock n roll 15 minutes prior to their scheduled photo time. Lord knows we don’t want to be tracking down Uncle Dave because he needed to get gas or found the bar during photos.
+ If you are NOT doing a first look with each other (which is totally cool with me), I’d suggest having an earlier ceremony so that we have plenty of light after the ceremony to do all portraits, wedding party photos, and family photos. I’d also suggest hiring a second photographer if one is not included in your collection if you are not opting for a first look.
+ If you are doing a first look (not once has it taken away the magic (at least in my eyes) at any wedding I have ever photographed), we can plan to photograph most of (if not all) the photos prior to the ceremony so you and all your guests can join the reception quickly. If we do a first look, I still like to carve in 15 more minutes or so of portrait time during sunset if you’re chill with that.
+ A good way to plan your ceremony time is by checking the sunset time of your wedding date by googling “Sunset time 08/19/2025 OKC” (or whatever) and seeing exactly when it will set. Good light begins about an hour and a halfish before sunset, with golden light hitting about 45 minutes before sunset, and a good ceremony time would be anywhere from 2.5 hours to 1 hour before the sun sets if you’re into the idea of having nice light in your photographs.
SAMPLE WEDDING TIMELINE (8 hours of coverage):
2:00pm: getting ready | detail + prep photos
4:00pm: first look + some portraits
4:45pm: wedding party photos
5:30pm: family photos
6:30pm: ceremony
7:00pm: cocktail hour
7:30pm: golden hour portraits of the couple
7:45pm: reception begins* / golden hour portraits before going to reception
8:00pm: dinner starts + couple announced
8:10pm: first dances, followed by parent dances, if applicable (then y’all please eat and sit and chill for a few moments)
9:00pm: cake cutting/toasts
9:30pm: open dance/mingling
11:00pm: send off/grand exit
*some couples have their planners make plates of food for them to eat before being announced into the reception, which is a great way to eat in private, take a few moments alone, before entering into your party.
SAMPLE ELOPEMENT TIMELINE (6 hours of coverage):
3:00pm: getting ready + prep
5:00pm: first look + some portraits
5:30pm: any group/family photos
6:00pm: ceremony + vows
6:30pm: (extended) portraits session and/or celebration
9:00pm: wrap photos up (exit, send-off, champagne, etc)
*full day elopement coverage is available for those who want the whole day documented (and is beautiful).
the day of
pre-ceremony
ACTUALLY, LET’S START WITH THE NIGHT BEFORE…
+ Have a list of everything you need to bring to the venue with you. Check that list. Like, literally check things off the list. Double check it. Make sure you know where everything is. Better yet, set it all in once space, ready to be loaded into vehicles and transported to the venue without tracking things down last minute. Shoes. Vow books. Cuff links. Perfume. Parent gifts. Cake topper. Marriage license. Shoes. Socks. Pants. Belt. Shoestrings. Garter. Gown. Earrings. Hairspray. Deodorant. Toothpaste. Tips for vendors. Crest whitestrips. Taco bell. Your dog. Anything else you need or may want, pack it up and make it ready to go. This is honestly where I see *most* of the “issues” at weddings–someone forgot something and didn’t realize until 30 minutes before the ceremony and then there was a time-crunch to get it in time.
+ Don’t be alarmed by the weather. Check it the night before. Make plans if it starts to look strange. In Oklahoma, y’all know…things can be a little unpredictable. Here’s the good news: weather is weather, and I can make pretty photos no matter what as long as you two are here for it.
+ Eat something you like for dinner. You’re either gonna fit into your clothes tomorrow or you’re not. Lol, you will. I’m kidding. Your stomach may be doing flips tomorrow, so eat a whole damn pizza if you want tonight if it won’t destroy your bowels in the morning. Also drink water and avoid an overload of alcohol–we want you feeling fresh tomorrow.
+ Try to get to bed fairly early. Do your normal routine if you can. Drink some more water or have a nice calming tea. Take your meds. Maybe even pop some melatonin to help with sleep if that’s your jam. I’m sure the nerves and the excitement will be there, but they’ll be there when you wake up too, so you may as well try and rest now.
PREP AND GETTING READY:
Truth be told, I don’t really care if you have matching hangers or the world’s most glamorous shoes or the dress from the next issue of Vogue bridal.
I care about these things and these things only during the getting ready portion of your day (aside from you and everyone in there and making sure everyone is having fun and is relaxed and everything is great):
Is there light? Is there space?
If I have nice light and a little uncluttered corner, I am in business. There are some recommendations regarding getting ready venues if your wedding venue one isn’t your jam on the preferred vendor list.
+ If you and all your pals can try and keep all of your things compiled to one area/corner/section of the space instead of letting things land anywhere, that helps a ton with photos as well and keeping things uncluttered.
+ If you want your details photographed (I love photographing details), feel free to keep them all in a handy-dandy box or bag that is ready for my arrival. I’ll take 10-20ish minutes to photograph your details and all their glory. Shoes, jewelry/watches, invites, bouquet, perfume, vows, handkerchiefs/ties, gifts, any sentimental items, etc are all more than welcome. I typically take dress/suit/wardrobe shots on their own or while they’re on your bodies for movement/fit, but if you find a pretty spot to hang them, that’s more than welcome, and I’d love to take some photos of those hanging too.
+ If you want some cheery and positive vibes, bring a bluetooth speaker and play your favorite pump-up playlist or watch your fave show on Netflix. Ask your wedding party and/or hair and makeup people (and/or your photographer/videographer) their favorite songs and add them to a playlist. If you don’t have Spotify premium, I’m also more than happy to make a playlist for you and can play DJ as long as my phone is within range to a Bluetooth speaker.
+ DON’T FORGET TO EAT. The day is here. You’re going to look freaking amazing. Eat something that you will enjoy while you get ready. Or at the very least, please drink some water. Chances are you may be too busy during the reception to actually enjoy dinner and dessert. Chances are also that guests will be bringing you alcohol (if you’re serving) once they notice your drink is almost empty. Having a lil something in your belly is a good idea.
+ A cute grazing board or a scone/fruit/bagel platter in the morning is always a hit with a group. Also I’ve seen pizza, sandwiches, whataburger, chickfila, panera, mcalister’s, and lots more in wedding suites. You do you.
+ If you are on medication or need to medicate throughout your day, this is me encouraging you to do so. This is always, always a judgement-free zone.
+ Also, once again, please drink plenty of water, but pee before you put your gown or whatever you’re wearing on, probably.
FIRST LOOK:
+ First looks are a great way to get out pre-ceremony jitters, have a moment before the ceremony, recite your vows to each other if you don’t want to in front of guests, and/or exchange gifts (and get more cute photos of you two). While they aren’t necessary for a wonderful wedding day, having a first look does help to create a timeline that flows a bit more effortlessly in terms of photos and guests.
+ Many couples may be afraid that seeing each other takes away some of the magic from that moment of walking down the aisle and seeing each other, but from my experience, that couldn’t be further from the truth. They’re two different kinds of magics, both unique in their own ways. We can discuss your first look options so that we ensure that both experiences are honest and beautiful, while remaining meaningful and personal.
+ I highly recommend first looks as well if you want to basically get straight into cocktail hour/the reception and not worry about doing a bunch more photos after the reception.
BUT! Once again, this is your day. Do what you want.
WEDDING PARTY PHOTOS:
+ If there are any specific ideas you have for you and your closest pals, I’m all ears.
+ It’s best to make sure everyone is ready 5-10 minutes before their “time slot” and is ready to rock when it’s their time to shine.
+ Make sure any bouquets are dried off, at belly button height (unless specified otherwise), and any statement ribbon/flowers are facing the front.
+ For people wearing pants, please do not keep anything bulky (phone/wallet/keys/whatever) in your front pockets during photos.
+ Please put beverages down (unless used as a prop in photos), and take sunglasses or transition lenses off if outdoors (unless specified otherwise).
+ In terms of “order” or “how should we stand”, I’ll fully direct that and often don’t necessarily go in any order, but typically have the MOH/Best Man (or whatever y’all’s equivalent is) next to their respective person-getting-married, then will arrange people based on dress/suit color or height or just whatever seems to work the best. We’ll do several different groupings as well to mix things up.
+ It typically takes 30-45 minutes for all the wedding party photos (depending on size of group). If everyone listens to directions and cooperates, we can likely cut that time almost in half, and y’all can be on your merry way.
+ If you have ring bearers/flower girls/ushers you’d like photographed, they will be photographed with the full wedding party, whenever that takes place.
FAMILY PHOTOS:
+ For family photos, I typically like to take one large extended family photo (this can happen after the ceremony if you don’t want everyone showing up early), and then focus on parents and any siblings and/or grandparents.
If there are aunts/uncles/cousins/friends who are very close to you, I’m always happy to get a shot of y’all as well during the smaller groupings of people.
+ I like to keep all family photos together in the timeline–typically it’s easiest to have all family members stay seated immediately after the ceremony, and then swooping back in once you two walk back down the aisle and start family photos quickly after the ceremony. If you’re doing a first look and want to knock out all posed photos with family and wedding party prior to the ceremony, we can certainly do that.
+ If there are any “tense” family situations (new marriages, divorces, recent deaths, what have you), please let me know so we can best navigate that. I am sensitive to those situations and, once again, this is also a judgement free zone. Though I’ll try to keep things straight in my head, any guidance during the day of (or if you’d like to make a shot list, feel free), is helpful.
+ Additionally, if you have any relatives who are hard of hearing, seeing, have difficulties or are incapable of walking/standing or any other things I may need to be aware of, please let me know so we can accommodate them.
+ And, not to get dark/morbid, but life is unpredictable and weird and often too short…reach out throughout the day/night if you want photos with or of ANYONE.
I am more than happy to make sure that happens.
Even if it’s a secret “hey, this person is totally healthy, but they’re my favorite person ever aside from my new spouse, so please snap extra photos of them)”…and I would be thrilled to creep on them for you.
ceremony
+ Your ceremony can look and feel however you want it to. Whether it’s religious or not, short and sweet or more in depth, you deserve a ceremony that highlights your love of one another.
+ Please consider having your guests turn off their cell phones for the processional and vows and focus their attention to you two. This also makes my job easier as I’m not trying to fight with people leaning into the aisle to get an iphone shot of you walking down the aisle.
+ Please consider if there are any places within the ceremony set up where you DO NOT want me, otherwise, I will be a little bit of everywhere.
+ I know this may be a “no brainer” but I have had so many couples spend so much time getting the ceremony set up looking flawless, only to stand completely off-center once they get to the altar–or they will leave the center for, say, a candle lighting, and will line back up off-center. And while the photos are still beautiful, with everything off center, it feels as though we aren’t being thoughtful to the hard work being put into the ceremony space (plus, if you’d like your wedding to be published, sometimes a “yes” or a “no” comes down to centered/well-composed photos).
+ To ensure everyone is standing where they need to be, place markers (bright tape if on a stage/floor of some sort, and a bright colored golf tee/painted rock for anything in the earth) in each spot may be a great idea.
You two and your officiant are the “most important” in terms of being centered–as well as everyone seems to be spaced well, we should be good to go.
+ Oftentimes, couples are choosing a good friend or close family member to perform the marriage ceremony. I love that! Since many of these people don’t have experience with performing wedding ceremonies before, this is just a friendly reminder to invite guests to stand when the bride(s)/partner walks down the aisle and to be seated once the introduction and/or entry prayer has been said. (I’ve had numerous weddings where guests haven’t been told to stand or be seated and they aren’t sure what to do…and we either have the human popcorn effect during the processional with people kind of standing up, but kind of not, and/or they remain standing through half the ceremony. No harm done, but something to be mindful of. Just a “Please stand.” and a “Please be seated.” by the officiant will do both tricks.)
+ One more thing to be cognizant of during the ceremony—the first kiss. Consider having your pastor stepping off to the side before announcing you two as a married couple, and then have them announce from the side. Then they can announce while not standing behind you, so you’ll have a distraction-free first kiss shot without another face behind/between your faces.
+ I’d also recommend holding that first kiss for an extra second or two just to guarantee your photographer and/or videographers get plenty of shots. A good rule of thumb is to hold for 4+ seconds. If you want to jazz it up and fist pump, dip, totally makeout, I will not stop you.
+ Please relay to me any untraditional ceremony aspects that may occur so that I can be prepared. If there will not be an announcement for the first kiss, such as “You may now kiss each other” please let me know what to look out for in the ceremony speech before you’re proclaimed spouses/before you kiss. Also, some venues/churches have rules for photo/video in terms of where I can or cannot be. Please be aware of that when considering your ceremony space/photos/what have you.
+ There’s always that moment of excitement while walking back down the aisle. Feel free to throw up your hands, flash me your rings, cheer, fist pump, or kiss again once you’re coming back down the aisle for more cute photos.
+ To make your recessional photos extra fun, hand guests sitting in aisle chairs eco-friendly confetti, dried flower petals, lavender, pompons, streamers, or rice to toss as you walk down the aisle, newly married. It adds to the overall excitement even more.
+ Please be mindful to Leave No Trace, though, if your wedding is taking place anywhere in the Great Outdoors. Please also play by your venue’s rules regarding confetti and the like and make sure all trash is picked up (but please don’t do that yourself…this is your one day to tell people to clean up after you).
+ For unique processional and recessional ceremony songs, I’ve compiled a list here.
post-ceremony
COCKTAIL HOUR:
+ To save a little cashola, opt for a beer/wine option with a couple of custom cocktails in lieu of a full bar.
+ Also, consider your pals who may not be partaking in alcohol and make them feel welcome with a fun mocktail of sorts. They’d love to have a fun option other than coke, iced tea, and water, I bet.
+ In Oklahoma (and other states), with medical (and/or recreational) marijuana as a thing, consider a 420 friendly “cocktail” party and hire a budtender to serve your guests some jazz cabbage.
+ Yard games, a photo booth, a grazing table, live music, a projector playing your favorite film (or a homemade slideshow), trivia, a talent show etc, are all great ways to give your guests “something to do” during your cocktail hour as prep for the reception/photos are happening.
+ Also, no one says you have to have a cocktail hour. Do whatever you want.
RECEPTION:
The reception is, more than likely, what everyone is looking forward to the most. I mean, they are a ton of fun.
There is no right way or wrong way to do it.
If you want to do the “traditional” things like a cake cutting, first dance, parent dances, etc, you 100% should. I will say…there are still ways to make those unique to you.
+ The one thing I notice considerably cutting into the “fun” part of the reception (it’s all fun to me), is the serving of dinner.
Make sure, whether you’re doing food trucks, picnic style, a potluck, a catered buffet or sit down dinner, that you know that serving guests and having them eat takes time and that’s okay.
+ Be realistic with what you can and cannot fit into a reception and consider what is most important to you. If you want 2 hours of open dance floor, but also are serving a seated, coursed dinner, that may cut into your dancing time.
+ Dinner/whatever time would be a fun opportunity to play throwback songs, host a trivia game, or have your talented friends do a little open mic night / talent show.
+ Having a planner or respected caterer will help with the flow of the dinner/meal portion of your wedding (should that be something you’re considering).
+ Typically, people don’t like photos of them when they’re eating. That is why I basically insist that I eat whenever you and all your guests eat.
If you’re doing a buffet where the wedding party and family is served first, I kindly request that my assistant and myself can sneak along in line with/directly after them so we can be finished eating and back in action quickly.
When people are chewing, that is basically my one break of the day to sit down and collect my thoughts and eat something and take a chill pill for a moment.
If you’re having a seating chart/plated dinner/or a buffet with placed serving ware instead of plates/silverware being at the food station(s), I’d love either a placed or an open spot for me and my assistant(s) at a table, or, at least, plates/silverware/napkins set aside for us so we can go shove our faces with food hidden away from your guests without having to track down the caterers to see if there’s any more plates.
We eat quickly and fiercely on wedding days. It’s not pretty. So also with that said, absolutely no offense if you don’t want us seated with your guests. ;) Happy to eat anywhere, tbh.
+ In my experience, with larger weddings, much of the “older” crowd or crowd with smaller kids will go home closely after the cake cutting or post-dessert. Just one small thing to keep in mind as you plan your evening.
+ Speaking of cake, there are no rules that you have to have cake. Though I love cake, I know that it’s not everyone’s jam. I’ve seen custom dessert tables, pie buffets, ice cream sandwiches, cookie towers, cupcakes, donut walls, and more. You do you, bb.
+ Make sure you have people to cut and serve the cake (or whatever you opt for) (the caterers often offer this) and have plenty of plates, forks, and napkins. Don’t forget to have tiny plates for your slice too.
+ Also…if you are thinking about wedding cake, I think they’re one of the best ways to get super unique and “on brand” in terms of your style and taste. The options are endless and no one says your wedding cake has to be tall, tiered, white, and covered in flowers (though those are always so lovely and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with them).
+ And, I will say, you can DEFINITELY tell the difference between a wedding cake baker and someone who does the occasional cake on the side or something. A good wedding cake is unlike any other cake ever, and is to be cherished. I’ve had my fair share and can recommend you to people who always do insanely tasty and stunning work. Like, if you can swing it, this is one area to “splurge” a bit.
+ Party with your friends. Hug your people. Wash your hands. Laugh. Say hello to your parents’ friends. Enjoy this time. I’m a fly on the wall.
ATMOSPHERE:
+ Colored uplighting in venues or brought in from the DJ often casts “unnatural” colors on you and your guests. If you opt for uplighting, please consider choosing white or a light blue, as those look the most natural throughout skin tones and lighting shifts.
+ String lights are fantastic. They bring a lot of light to the space without getting rid of the romance, whimsy, or atmosphere. Feel free to string up as many bistro lights as your heart desires. Anywhere and everywhere, if I may.
+ Candles, electric tea lights, or LED wire lights in vases/lanterns/etc help add light to each table and vignette. Tapered candles melting into the evening is so romantic and poetic to me, and these days you can find just about any color and patterned taper candle, including ones that melt into rainbows.
+ While I do have flashes and a steady artificial light, I love to photograph with the emotion and mood leading the way, so I tend to only bust out my artificial lights when capturing fast movement on the dance floor or if a certain shot needs a bright flash for an editorial punch.
+ If you’re interested in having your wedding published anywhere, most blogs and magazines are detail driven, with an emphasis on new and exciting ideas. If you want to *nearly guarantee* publication of your wedding, I’d love to talk about what that looks like.
+ Music sets the mood for the evening. While a great DJ can be an added bonus, compiling a playlist that is meaningful to you and fun for your guests will ensure that the evening will feel great for all. Have a request box at the DJ table (or the guest book table) for guests to request songs for the dance floor. Or put one on your RSVP site/cards. I’ve also seen couples bring out face paint, glow sticks, temporary tattoos, confetti, hats, etc for the dance floor for some extra flair to their party (double check with your venue before using these extra things).
SEND OFF:
+ One of my favorite new traditions is for the couple to do a “last dance” while people are being arranged for the exit. This gives you two a chance for one more dance, without anyone around you, and creates a really intimate moment before the excitement of the send off.
+ One of the best photo ops of the evening if done well, send offs are a fun way to say “adieu” to your guests as you leave for the evening.
Sparklers, fireworks, smoke bombs, confetti, giant signs that say “Go Marriage!” that the couple runs through a la high school football, thrown rice, bubbles, and homemade flags are just some of the trends I’ve seen over the years.
+ Some couples have incorporated their love of their hobbies and ride away into the sunset on bikes, longboards, vintage cars, golf carts, etc.
+ Let’s chat about a unique idea for your send off, should you choose to have one, and how we can make the best photos possible of that exciting moment.
+ If you opt for a sparkler exit, I’d recommend purchasing sparklers that are extra long so we can guarantee all can be lit at the same time. While they make a big impact, sparkler exits can be difficult to arrange with, ahem, intoxicated guests. Make sure you think this is a safe route to go before taking the plunge.
+ Sparkler exits are also super exciting to run through, so if you have extra long sparklers, take the extra time they’re burning to run up and down your tunnel of loved ones. Embrace this really fun and magical moment of being purely alive and feel free to kiss a little more, give each other a twirl, or make an extra lap down and back.
+ Speaking of sparkler exits…nothing worse than having 200 sparklers ready to be lit and only one lighter (or no lighters! Been there too…)to go around. Have several ready to go.
AFTER THE WEDDING…
+ Have overnight bags packed and ready to go with anything you need and have them in the getaway car/transportation and/or give them to a trusted person who can drop them to your hotel or wherever you’re spending the night.
+ Order something to eat if you want–it might be likely that you had to skip dinner at your wedding. Order a pizza or something and enjoy newlywed bliss with food. If you’re having a late night, keep this in mind!
+ Have a friend or family member drop off gifts and what not to your home. Wait to open everything but singular cards (might have honeymoon funds!) until after the honeymoon or celebration if you’re leaving the next day.
+ If you’re waiting to honeymoon or it’s not in the cards right now, please at least take a few days off work together to soak everything in if you are able to. Take a staycation, indulge your guilty pleasures, treat yourselves for the first few days of marriage. Eat a nice meal, talk about your wedding, talk about life, enjoy each other.
after the wedding
+ Soak it up. Relish your new lives together. Talk about your favorite parts of the wedding day. Remember that love is an action and love is a choice. Choose every day to love each other like it’s the first day of your marriage.
+ Have a wonderful honeymoon (if you’re honeymooning)! Be present. Take some fun pictures. Eat some tasty food. Love a lot on each other. Make out in front of the sunset and/or laugh until sunrise. Enjoy every moment.
+ Set your vacation responder on your email, and leave it on an extra day day once you’re back to rest before tackling your inbox. Also your honeymoon would be a great time to leave the phone on Do Not Disturb if you’re able.
+ Once you’re back from your honeymoon, there probably feels like there will be a lot to do. You can do it. You can totally ease into all the extra things. If you’re changing your name, that’s kind of a lengthy process, so I’d start on that as soon as you’re able, but other than that, people are generally understanding and just want you to enjoy newlywed life.
Potential other things that may be on your mind: changing banking info, writing thank you cards, changing addresses with the USPS, posting honeymoon pictures. These things can wait, but they will be easiest to do the sooner you do them to your wedding. I’d wait no more than one month to get started on at least one of these. Also, you may double-check and make sure the courthouse has received your marriage license.
+ Reminiscing on the wedding day. One day in the nearish future, you’ll get your wedding photos or will fondly remember the toasts or how good the cake tasted. You’ll think “how the heck did we spend that time planning for it to all be over in a day?” You’ll be a little shocked it’s over, perhaps. Hopefully you’ll look back on it all fondly and with a lot of joy. And you’ll (hopefully) remember all the people who made it happen and who put in time to make everything come to life.
Not many vendors take the time to ask for reviews, because it is a vulnerable and generally uncomfortable thing to do (and a lot of us are also our own worst critics and are like…”did they even like us??”), so if you enjoyed working with the vendors you hired, it would MAKE THEIR DAY if you took a few moments to leave a kind review on Google, The Knot, Facebook, etc. Reviews go so far in our businesses, but asking for them definitely doesn’t come naturally for a lot of people, so this is me taking one for the team and asking you with love to spare a few moments of your life and leave a few nice reviews for your vendor team (assuming you enjoyed your time with them and their product).
(Side note: your vendors put in a lot of time to do the things they do–if/when you choose to post your photos on social media or online, it would also make your vendors’ day AGAIN if you tagged them whenever their work is showcased or linked to their website if you enjoy their work. A simple vendor list in your wedding day gallery on Facebook or on your IG post would mean the world to so many people, and you’ll probably get a lot of questions anyways re: who you used for vendors, so you may as well post everything in one place so people can take notes.
+ If you booked a day-after session or an anniversary session, we can totally get that scheduled whenever you want.
+ You may consider getting the gown preserved or the bouquet made into art or getting a custom art piece made of one of your favorite photos or moments of the day. Some couples choose to get their vows framed or painted/printed onto canvas. No pressure to do any of that, but just some things to think about.